Thursday, September 8, 2011

Where is bodyguard for Hindi film industry ?

An assembly line is a manufacturing process in which parts (usually interchangeable parts) are added to a product in a sequential manner using optimally planned logistics to create a finished product much faster than with handcrafting-type methods.

Assembly line used in Automobiles and in mechanical industry which resulted into Mass production which leads to evolution of Consumerism.

Assembly line used in food industry by McDonald first which result in 1 dollar burger and subsequent development in food industry in western world .Long term impact on health were enormous Obesity , Diabetes , Heart diseases etc etc ( Watch Documentary : Food Inc.)

What will happen if Assembly line techniques applied to Art?what to art ??? how??? not possible ?? ….

Hello …it is possible in India where there is mass production of Bollywood movies using die cast of other cinema in the world …

Hoow ????


Step 1 – Take any south Indian film (action,drama,romantic..actully there is no genre In India, its package of all) ‘script’…sorry I used wrong word …just take film. And hire one writer to write at least one catchy dialogue (seriously one will do..don't worry ) and for songs lyricist n musician ( here also you can copy from anywhere in the world ..Any song our creative guys are great they will fit words according to any tune in Korean or any language..

Step 2- Take “Superstar” and “Beautiful” heroine ..(I can’t dare to write words like actor and actress). And ya you need 1 villan , 1 comedian and atleast one set of mother and father.( in south processes are so designed that villan ,comedian are fixed for almost every movie ..bollywood is getting there ..we are fast )

Step3- Sale it . This is most important step and industry came up with loads of innovation which are so wonderful and amazing which fools people everytime and draws them to theater sorry multiplexes. Innovations like affairs , break ofs , controversy anykind (comment on sensitive issues by actor , caught on airport with gold , pregnancy , marriage , health), managing reviews ,participating in reality shows with team and other marketing tools like caller tune , trailers , hoarding , competition ,sms ,festive season , canceling shows of small budget films ..list is endless..


That’s it…your movie completed.


Many will say ..hey hello where is production stage…plzz above 1 , 2 ,3 will ensure everything..dont waste time on stupid things and focus on next things..

Headline in Saturday newspapaers “ Movie got grand opening..earned 30 cr. on first day”….as people see this in papers those who not seen book there tickets online as it is weekend and all multiplex have only shows of your movie.

Headline in Monday newspapers “ Movie earned total around 100 cr ”..Super Success..show celebration parties on News channels and newspaper and earn some more money by foolling those who are still on fence and not watched it..they will go to theatres in week coming…more money…and after one month show your movie on any channel…earn some more money….Total 120 cr…( during this don’t forget to announce somewhere next project or sequel)….During all this do “take care” of media guys…

Watched “Bodyguard”..no I didn’t contributed directly to salmans movie fund..watched dvdrip…and after watching many question came to my mind ( ya I know BG moviemaker did not intend to trouble my brain)..What is good movie? …what is entertainment? What is success? What is good? What is cinema? Where are we heading? etc etc …

These movie makers making such films and degrading taste of audience which are still in infant stage for the visual medium and doing this we will never get mature and will be trapped in cycle where feeding will be done by assembly line production .

Watching a film is going out of common man reach ( normal ticket rate in eveng are around 200) and these filmmakers and producers and malls creating situations where you have to go to multiplex and spend loads of money for wt..Bodyguard , Wanted , Ready , Singham , Dabang , Golmals…..

I am happy because I know that everything ends so this will also end but I hope that it will be less damaging to the art in long run…what is in our hand is not to be get trapped in the web designed by these producers and directors. Few months back I read somewhere that Director of “ Uddan “ struggling to get producer for his next project. One should spend money on some sensible cinema so that in future more good directors will make good films…and we will make our own cycle of demand and supply of sensible films…

Note : I don’t like to use word Bollywood but at times I have to use it.